Love changes everything
by Yellowwolf
Summary: Blair gets upset with Jim after a hostage situation. Slash. R


**Disclaimer:** Don't own them, never will **sniff**

**Author's note:** I wrote this story about a year ago but haven't posted it here yet. Figured I should. Oh, English still isn't my first language.

**Love changes everything**

"You idiot!" Blair yelled at Jim after the door to the loft had closed and they were in the safety of their home.

"What?" Jim asked confused. He hung his coat away and leaned against the fridge to look at his angrily pacing lover in the living room. His coat was carelessly flung on the couch and Jim would've said something about it if Blair wasn't so agitated.

"You know damn well what!"

"Whatever they said, I wasn't flirting with her." Jim said referring to an incident that had happened that morning. Simon and co, who didn't know that since two weeks ago they were a couple, had seen that the doughnut girl had been eying him and they had 'accused' him of flirting with her. Blair had been laughing along with every else so Jim had figured his Guide hadn't made a problem out of it. Two weeks wasn't long for a relationship but Jim had been sure since a year ago that he loved Blair. No, he wasn't just in love. It was real love pure and simple. He'd told Blair that a couple of days ago because Blair was so insecure about their relationship. He had the feeling Blair still didn't believe him. He didn't care how many times he had to say 'I love you' before Blair believed it. He was over the whole fling thing. He was playing for keeps and he knew Blair was too.

"Give me some credit, Jim! I know you weren't flirting with her. I see things like that after three years you know."

"Okay, then what?"

Blair stopped his pacing to look at him incredulously. "For heaven's sake, Jim. I know you're not that stupid."

"Oh, the hostage situation."

"We have a winner." Blair muttered under his breath, well aware of the fact that Jim could hear him perfectly fine.

"All right, what exactly did I do wrong?" Jim asked honestly confused and also interested.

"Saving me!"

"Saving you." Jim repeated slowly. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with that. Blair had once again been at the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd gone over to a local café across the police station to get him a coffee because even though it was noon, he had been tired. Blair had a way of keeping him up. One he didn't protest against if he had to admit it. This lunatic decided he needed money so he held Blair, the girl behind the counter and three other customers hostage. Jim of course had been keeping track of his lover and had heard a shot being fired. He'd immediately warned whole of Major Crime who weren't too pleased with the fact that their favorite observer was once again taken hostage.

They'd alerted more cops and had gone outside. By that time, the guy had closed up the shop completely and drawn all the blinds so they, expect Jim, were clueless about what was going on inside. Jim had kept his hearing turned up, keeping track of his Guide's heartbeat and his voice because Blair had started reasoning with the guy in his typical Guide voice. They guy had seemed to calm down a little and had at least stopped yelling he was going to give them all more holes then they already had.

Jim knew from experience that the backdoor of the café lead into the alley directly next to the shop so he had decided to go in with a Kevlar vest. Simon had reluctantly agreed but this was a situation that had to be ended soon because half the police department was outside, keeping away civilians in case the guy freaked and started firing. Just as Jim quietly picked the door, the guy had fired a round in the ceiling, making the two females inside scream in horror. Blair's heartbeat had spiked but he was okay.

"Yeah! I could handle it. I had nearly talked him into surrendering!"

"He was threatening to shoot you if you didn't keep your mouth shut." Jim pointed out dryly. He wanted to go over to Blair and hug him, tell him it was okay but seeing as Blair would just run him over at the speed Blair was wearing holes in the floor, he decided against it and let Blair calm down first.

"Yeah, and bursting in like a madman helped a lot!" Blair remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Blair _had_ been close and Jim had barged in as if he'd been on crack, yelling at the guy who'd been taken by surprise, freaked and started firing randomly. It was a miracle no one got hit but luckily, Blair had had the good sense to duck or the guy would've succeeded in putting another hole in him. He hadn't been fearing about his well being though, he'd been fearing for Jim's who'd been quite exposed.

Blair couldn't understand what good a Kevlar vest was because it still left open more vital zones than it covered.

"I admit that it wasn't one of my smartest moves ever-"

"It was dumb!" Blair interrupted, "You could've gotten us both killed."

Jim finally walked over to Blair who'd stopped pacing to glare and placed his hands on Blair's shoulders.

"It's okay, we're fine."

"Don't touch me!" Blair hissed so Jim let his hands drop and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm going to my room."

"Not so fast, Chief." Jim said, grabbing Blair's arm to prevent him from escaping. Blair looked at the hand on his arm and then glared up at him.

"Let me go!" Blair said calmly but his eyes held something threatening. Just like Blair wasn't intimidated by him, he wasn't intimated by Blair so he stood his ground and tightened his grip, knowing he was probably leaving bruises but letting Blair get away wasn't an option.

"What's going on, Chief? This can't be just about earlier."

"Yes, it can be. Now, let. Me. Go." Blair punctuated each word to let Jim know he was serious but Jim didn't let go.

"Not until you talk to me! You said how important it is to communicate in a relationship, so communicate! I can't read your mind, you know. I can't help you with whatever it is if you don't tell me!" Jim said, not quite yelling but raising his voice just a little to show his desperation to get Blair to talk because he knew that if he let Blair go now, it would come between them. Whatever _it_ was and he didn't want to let anything come between them.

Blair sighed and his arm relaxed in Jim's grip so Jim let go carefully, afraid Blair might bolt after all but he didn't. Jim was right of course he'd told Jim so many times to keep talking and now he was breaking his own rule.

"Do you have any idea how those close those bullets got to you?" Blair asked, running a shaky hand though his hair and Jim noticed now that the anger had faded, Blair looked pretty pale and was shaking a bit.

"Close, I felt them."

"Exactly!" Blair exclaimed. He held Jim's gaze to say his next word and show Jim he was serious. "You nearly got killed because of me!"

"First, I didn't nearly got killed. You're exaggerating-"

"Exaggerating?! Fine, don't listen!" Blair yelled, once again going for angry although Jim realized that Blair was upset and was yelling because of that. Blair made a move to go to his room but Jim once again stopped him.

"No, don't. Sorry. Look at me, Blair." Jim said he placed. He placed his hands on either side of Blair's face. Blair's eyes hesitantly met his. "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I'm a bit… short tempered." Blair sighed again and let his eyes drop. Jim let his hands fall on Blair's shoulders and squeezed reassuringly.

"What's the problem?"

"I can't do this." Blair mumbled as he pulled away from Jim and wrapped his arms around himself before staring at a very interesting spot on he ground.

"You can't do what?"

"This! Us!" Blair said gesturing between them. Blair once again looked up and Jim saw many different things in his eyes: pure and simple love, the fear of losing him, anger, desperation, sadness, hate and more love.

"Why?"

"Your job. Before we became lovers, if was different. Yeah, I was worried sick you'd end up getting killed but now it's ten times worse. When he started shooting, my heart felt like it was going to thunder out of my chest and I wasn't able to breath anymore. Damn it, I can't stand to see you get into situations like that."

"And how is ending this going to change that?"

"I don't know!" Blair said frustrated and realized he was clueless. He walked away to put some distance between them and ended up on the balcony.

Jim decided to let him be for a while. He walked over to the couch and sat down, leaning his head back and closing his eyes to give this situation some thought as well. Blair did seem to forget he couldn't handle seeing him get into shit like that either but he loved Blair, loved him with whole his heart and didn't want to let him go but if Blair decided to break up, he would allow it. He'd try to talk him out of it but he wouldn't pressure because it wasn't honest to Blair. They had agreed that in case one for some reason wanted to break up, the other would let him go. It would be difficult but he was a man off his word and to Blair, he really didn't want to break a promise.

He did hope Blair would rethink this. Maybe he could think of a solution that would work for Blair as well. Blair didn't like his job, he loved his job but he loved Blair more. The solution was even simpler than he'd thought.

He looked at Blair who was leaning on the railing. His hair was flying gently in the wind. From what Jim could see from Blair's expression, it was thoughtful. He opened up his hearing and heard that Blair's heartbeat was still on the fast side and he was muttering incoherently under his breath. He turned his hearing back to normal. The last thing Blair needed right now was him spying on him with his senses. Blair needed privacy at the moment and Jim was happy enough to give him that.

He closed his eyes again and forced himself to stop thinking about this. Soon, Blair would come back inside, he'd tell Blair his solution, Blair would agree and they would move on.

Blair turned to look at Jim. His Sentinel was gorgeous. His. Jim was his. That made him smile but the smile soon faded as he thought of the decision he had to make. Did he really want to leave Jim? No. Could he handle Jim's life put in danger every time? No.

If he broke up with Jim, their friendship would suffer and might not survive. He needed Jim in his life and Jim needed him. They couldn't live without each other. It was the sad truth.

Breaking up wasn't an option, he could not leave Jim. He loved him too much for that. Then what? Life would be easier if Jim quit his job but Blair realized he couldn't ask that of Jim. Jim loved being a cop, loved being out in the field, working crimes and solving mysteries. It was unfair to ask such a thing. It would be like Jim asking him to give up anthropology. Not that Jim would ever to do that. No, Jim knew how much it meant to him so the fact that Blair was even thinking about asking Jim to keep his job, made him feel ashamed. There had to be an other way but he couldn't find it. He hoped Jim found it.

Why do relationships have to make thing that much more difficult?

"Jim?" Blair asked hesitantly. "I don't know what to do."

Jim smiled and came towards him. "I do. You don't like my job right? Then it's simple, I'll ask Simon to get me a desk job as soon as possible or I can quit altogether."

Blair's eyes widened in shock and surprise. "But you love fieldwork!"

"Yeah, I do but I'll let you in on a little secret, I love you more." Jim said, smiling softly. Blair held his gaze searching his eyes but could only find the truth there.

"No," Blair said, shaking his head, "I can't let you do this. No way, Jim."

"It's just a job. I can't lose you, Blair." Jim's voice broke.

"You won't but you're not going give up your job either. It means a lot that you're willing to do this for me but no, you love it too much."

"Are you sure? Because I'd be doing this just as much for myself as for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like seeing you getting in that shit because you work with me either."

"I know. It's a two way street, I guess but the chance of me getting into trouble is much smaller then the chance that you get in trouble."

"Right, don't think so, Chief. You find trouble everywhere. Just think of Lash, Kincaid, Alex, the whole Maya thing, the Golden incident, when you were trapped into that elevator with the bomb-"

"All right, all right! I get it." Blair interrupted, blushing because Jim was right. The chance that he got his ass in trouble was much bigger than the chance that Jim got in trouble. He even managed to get taken hostage while getting coffee. How much more proof did he need?

"I've got more examples."

"No, thanks, I see your point but you got to admit that could've happened even if I didn't meet you so it has not much to do with your job and everything with me." Blair pointed out before Jim could start his guilt trip and lecture about the dangers of working with cops although Blair had to admit he never got in trouble before he met Jim. Maybe it was just the combination of the two.

"I suppose although I've never heard of a civilian that got trapped in an elevator with a bomb, gets taken hostage on a monthly basis, dealt with crazy girlfriends-"

"Hey, hey, I get the point." Blair once again interrupted before Jim could really start about Sam.

"Good, so we're okay?"

"Yeah, man, we're okay. Sorry for freaking out like that."

"Don't be. It's good to know you care."

Blair lightly punched his arm. "Of course I care, you moron."

Jim laughed and pulled Blair into his arms. Blair didn't resist because it had been what he wanted to do since they had gotten home, only his little outburst had stood in the way of that. He knew it was kind of childish to act like that. He finally understood why the divorce rate of cops was so high but he wouldn't leave Jim. No, he would stay by his side just like Jim would stay by his. They both knew what they could get into on the job and had to accept that.

He knew Jim would protect him and he'd do his best protect to protect Jim. He could kill for Jim, he knew that and it scared him. But it was known that people did things they normally wouldn't do to protect the ones they love so Blair didn't worry about it too much.

He knew their destiny was to be together because Sentinel and Guide were not supposed to be separated. The fact that they were each other's soul mates was more of a coincidence. One they didn't complain about.

Going from friends to lovers had been easy enough because the only thing that had been missing when they were friends was the sex but that hadn't been too hard to figure out. Blair unwillingly grinned.

"What?" Jim asked.

"Nothing, just thinking, man."

"Oh, that's dangerous. What? You just came up with a brilliant test?"

Blair pulled away a bit to look up at him innocently. "Now would I do that to you?"

When Jim opened his mouth to answer him, Blair kissed him because the answer would no doubt be 'Yes.' The kiss seemed to go on for ages and was as passionate as their first kiss two weeks ago.

"Why don't we take this upstairs, huh?" Jim suggested as he broke away for air.

"Love your ideas, man." Blair said breathless as he followed Jim up the stairs to their room. "Oh, Jim, don't ever change, man, not ever for me."

"Where did that come from?" Jim asked as he pulled Blair on top of him.

"Don't know but I mean it."

"Okay, I won't change."

"Hmm, maybe a little bit." Blair teased, smirking. Jim smiled but couldn't keep the smile out of his voice.

"Whatever you say. Now are we gonna keep talking or…?" Jim let the suggestion hang in the air.

"I choose for the second opinion."

"A kiss would've done just fine to let me know." Jim pointed out.

"Now who's talking!" Blair exclaimed. Jim rolled his eyes again and rolled over to pin Blair under him. Then they proceeded with doing option two.

The end 


End file.
